TMNT **1/2

The Turtles were originally made into TV cartoons to sell toys, which is a very effective strategy often used by the Pop Culture Illuminati to bore into kids brains. G.I. Joe and Transformers are other glaring examples of this. Though the TMNT franchise started out as a bona fide indie comic book success story - basically created on a kitchen table by Eastman and Laird back in the '80s - it only reached Pop Culture icon status as part of a well-orchestrated toy merchandising campaign. As a result, TMNT is another summer toy movie that can't decide if it's animated or live action.

The 3d looks 2d. Tedious digital rack focus and fake lens flares are tacked on in a desperate attempt to impart style to Lula Carvalhos’ hackneyed cinematography. The arch villain Shredder comes off as something out of Power Rangers. Basically someone in a suit stomping around a miniature set, like the old Ultraman. The Turtles' characterization doesn't help to give them personality either and they can only be told apart by the color of their bandanas.

Megan Fox as the only standout provides tame sex appeal. This is paradoxically a good role for her and jives well with her Transformers past. Her crossing of the desert must be over as Michael Bay and the Hollywood bigwigs have re-evaluated her box office draw despite the 5 or so last bombs she did (Jonah Hex anyone?) It's too bad Minae Noji as Kari doesn't quite come off as the hot villainess. Poor costume design hid rather than highlighted her assets. The rest of the cast is forgettable. (Is Whoopie Goldberg secretly one of the turtles?)

Sophomoric humor, great for 9 year olds or mentally equivalent adults.

The opening titles are the best part of this 101-minute toy commercial.

Review by Mike Hammer

Director: Jonathan Liebesman (Wrath Of The Titans, Battle Los Angeles)

Written by: Josh Appelbaum & Andre Nemec (Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Alias TV show)

TMNT originally created by: Peter Laird & Kevin Eastman

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